OUR CLIENTS
If your looking at this page one thing is clear
You’re the super villain that knocked off fort knox and made off with countless palettes of pure precious gold bars. You gotta move that stuff because while it looks shiny in your evil lair, and gives you the wealth of kings, it’s a bit heavy and your interior decorator has been bitching about it for months. Even your loyal henchmen look worn and strained at the effort of moving your shiny piles of gold bullion from one end of your lair to another. Not that this worries you, after all they clearly know too much.
But there are other practical matters to consider. After all the costs of the new vaults were staggering and your evil credit card is charging outrageous rates. Cost overruns on the giant moon laser have become staggering and people are looking at your greenbacks with a suspicious glint in their eye.
Face it, its pure hell being an evil genius, and the work never ends. The credit collectors were easy enough to deal with at first, dispatch a couple of them as an example and they don’t call as often about your late payments on that idiot third world dictator’s centrifuges. Then they came up with the autodialer and it slowly dawned on you, that there must be more than one insidiously evil genius roaming around.
The sharks don’t feed themselves, and you’re already running a skeleton crew of henchmen. Fuel costs have put a severe crimp on your island lifestyle, and ever since the pirates moved in the overhead in shipping in fresh supplies of delicious belly dancing slave girls has gone through the roof. Her majesty’s secret service is demanding bigger and bigger kickbacks ever since that fiasco in Iceland and the new batch of congressmen is even greedier and more selfish than the ones that got wiped out in the recent scandals. Blackmail used to be a reasonable option, but ever since the tabloids started running up the price of incriminating photos, its been hard to get a freelance photographer that can get the pics you need.
Those treacherous bastards at the treasury have been trading gold certificates as if they were hot checks, devaluing your supply of gold. These are tough times, so you have to decide where to turn. What you need are some qualified
GOLD BULLION BUYERS
To help you take the loot off your hands. An evil empire doesn’t just run itself and lets face it, you need some freaking cash.
GoldBullionBuyers.com is here to help. While we request that you use your own nefarious contacts to handle the shipping, and strongly suggest you insure all shipments, we are interested at taking that surplus gold out of your pockets. We are here to help anyone with more gold than they can carry. Our offices are sensibly located on a major shipping route with overland access and we are capable of making special arrangements that would make a Nigerian Prince cringe with envy. By paying in Zimbabwaen currency we can offer you sums in the trillions of dollars per ounce for your gold. Trust us, you’re henchman won’t know the difference and you can sell them on a nice vacation package to the mysterious continent of Africa when they’ve finished their tenure with you. As far as the creditors, a dollars a dollar, and at the rate of inflation its not going to matter much in a couple of years whether you are holding uncle Sam’s money or uncle Mugabe’s. We would offer you even more, but strict excise taxes and other operational costs limit even our generosity.
WE ARE HERE TO HELP
Take your mind off the day to day tasks of hoarding your gold, the endless counting of kruggerands and the pointless exertion of lifting those heavy bullion bars. Contact us today and learn more about how we can help rid you of your surplus gold and give you the peace of mind that an evil overlord deserves.

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